Let me introduce myself.
I am a White Woman who is married to a Chinese Man.
I have a lot of other identities, yet the claptrap written
on the Internet as well as other Racist Tidbits of daily life in East Asia (White Man, Chinese Woman, White Woman, Chinese
Man) has driven me to put up this website.
Even in the Hong Kong media which prides itself on being
so international, we hear mostly White Men, Chinese Women, and Chinese Men.
I do not speak for others. I have a voice too, and
when I read a book called Shanghai Baby that tells me that Chinese Women and White Women are in vicious competition for White
Men, I say NO.
- I am not in competition, for men or anything else.
- I like to have women friends.
- I love my husband, who is also my friend.
- I respect my father, my grandfathers, and the positive values of my
own Western culture.
- I am conservative, though had love affairs before marriage.
- I am a spiritual/religious person (which is my own business.)
Racist Lie No 1: Chinese Men Are Worse Lovers
Let me refer to three famous Internet articles by
Chinese women.
The first, Chinese Women, Don't
Sleep With Foreigners, reviews arguments written elsewhere, and is novel in its appeal to Western Women to step
forward with their own opinions. I have included
links to this in Chinese and English.
The second article by Julie Shi, equally famous, was commissioned
by the Australian media on the subject of why Chinese men are worse lovers than white men! Chinese men and women denounced
this racism at meetings of The Mandarin Club in Australia. They were right.
Julie told the whole world that Chinese men were bad lovers, in 8 out
of 10 situations, and that Western men were good lovers, in 8 out of 10 situations.
Julie Shi is a very common name, and all that remains of her on the
Internet is that she was a Shanghai journalist, who later moved to Australia, where she wrote a notorious article.
The complaints of the Chinese community were given no respect, and Julie then fell under The China Doll protection of the
White Man.
Just imagine:
- an white American woman saying, 8 out 10 American men are bad at sex...
- a Japanese woman writing, 8 out of 10 Japanese men are bad at sex...
- a black American woman writing, 8 out 10 black men are poor lovers...
Imagine the uproar, the cries of Racism!
Julie Shi is not very knowledgeable about sex, though she
wants to present herself as an expert on sex. To do her own research, she would have had to sleep with at least
10 Chinese men, and 10 Western men. She gets off the hook for looking promiscuous by saying White Women and Chinese
Women have confided in her, Julie Shi, telling her all about how bad Chinese men are as lovers.
I suspect Julie alludes to technical points of
lovemaking in various cultures. Those techniques may vary from culture to culture. There has been a taboo against
mouth kissing in Chinese sexual culture.
Chinese men raised in the USA, Australia, and Canada would
be influenced by those countries as well.
Still, eight out of ten? What nastiness.
None of the good points of Chinese
Men are brought up, not one.
Julie's newspaper bashing of Chinese Men was commissioned.
This is a point not noted. She was paid well for her racism, and her scientific research is bullshit. She talked to both Chinese and white women? Did she have ten
Chinese boyfriends, and keep a notepad by her bed? Did she have ten white men, and keep a notepad by her bed?
Let's research Julie's research.
I do know not too many White Women who would have sat down
in their local Australian Starbucks, and said,
"Hey, Julie, what a brave Chinese girl you are! Writing
about how awful our husbands are in bed! Thanks for exposing this problem to the waiting world!
As Julie matures in life, maybe she will see the good points of Chinese
Men, their responsibility for many relatives, their respect for older people, their helpfulness to friends.
***
An even more offensive article than that of Julie Shi,
as Julie can be understood to be following the same pathway as the author of Shanghai Baby - cause a big media stink,
get success faster - is the shocking article by a young Chinese university student on why she wants a Western
Husband.
Not only are Chinese men not sexy, they are repulsive to look at, ie.
physically ugly. This article has caused a furor
in Mainland China. I came to it through a link in another site, and have been unable to find it. It is really
interesting.
It expressed perfectly Racial Body Loathing. The
young woman in her listing of reasons as to why she is FOR Western men, and why she is AGAINST Chinese men - again, she needs
to set them both up in COMPETITION for her nasty charms, bitterly criticizes the LOOKS of Chinese men.
Their very eyes, their very noses, their
very mouths are ugly to her, she who comes from the same Chinese race - she has the same type of eyes, the same type
of nose, the same type of mouth.
It is my personal preference as a woman born with pale
colouring to like the dark hair and dark eyes of East Asian men, I don't dislike people with blond hair, blue eyes, and indeed
miss the wonderful variation of eyes and hair in Europe and North American.
Not so with Miss University Student. Her loathing
of Chinese Men extends to everything about them physically. Finally, the tolerance of men snapped in angry responses
to her posting, as they realized it was her own father she was humiliating.
These psychological problems will never be cured by a green
card, a foreign passport, or a marriage to a man who may want to have a few other friends beside his wife.
She imagines herself married to a Western man, sitting
in a bubble bath somewhere, drinking from fluted glasses with this tender, thoughtful, and romantic mate.
Hey, sounds a little like a Harlequin romance.
(Hey, how about all the Chinese fathers working in factories,
offices, and stores, sending all these girls to university - is not gruelling work part of love too?)
Still, there is nothing wrong with wanting to marry someone
from a different country, or having romantic dreams, however naive.
Her extremity is the shocking way she describes Chinese
Men phsyically, as though their manners and their looks are horrible to behold.
Chinese Men are NOT smaller than Western Men,
in any way. And Chinese Women in Beijing are five foot seven on the average, taller than many parts
of North America! The myth of the small Chinese Man and Woman comes from South China, where
the people are indeed very light, short, and narrow shouldered.
My own aesthetic tastes, things I like:
Chinese Men don't have facial hair, they rarely have moustaches,
beards, or goatees
Chinese Men don't have excessive body hair, like furry
backs.
Chinese Men don't have excessive fat, like pot bellies.
Chinese Men don't use excessive grooming, such as aftershaves
that smell funny, they keep it simple with a bar of soap.
Chinese Men, at least where I live, dress quite simply
- jeans andT-shirts, or simple dark suits.
Chinese Men are generally trim, tidy, bathe daily - exactly
the same habits as Chinese Women. So why the big differentiation here, with so many compliments to the women and
none to the men?
Racist Lie 2: Chinese Men Have Rougher Manners Than Chinese
Girls Who Are Delicate Dolls
Chinese girls have all the same manners and
mannerisms that Chinese men have. Chinese women are NOT dainty, and my own Chinese friends
laugh at this Fake Romanticism.
The tone of these Internet postings is: Chinese men do not appreciate
their own women, do not serve them, and the Gallant White Men, more romantic and tender, can carry the China Dolls off to
a democracy where they will have a better life.
This lie denies that we all have good things in our own cultures and
countries. While I love the friendliness and helpfulness of Chinese people, both my husband and myself value the quietitude
of our own homeland.
Rescuing Chinese women from Chinese men smacks of Colonialism and also
Christian Rescuer.
I have seen girls and women
- eat the heads of fish with the eyeballs still
attached
- burp openly
- kill small animals such as fish or chickens
in their kitchens
- urinate over drains in crowded train station
washrooms, when no cubicles were available
- spit at table, as the men do, though this habit is dwindling,
due to successful government publicity
Yes, I also don't care for the famous cheong-sam dress.
It makes me think of restaurant hostesses, and restaurant hostess is not really a National Uniform. I prefer the older
style of jacket and pants Chinese traditional dress, as the coats are so beautiful.
Yes, there are young and sweet Chinese girls who are fragile
in build and hesitant in manner.
All I say here is that there are hundreds of millions of types of Chinese
women. More specifically, there are repeating comments on Internet Boards, that Chinese women are SUPERIOR to Chinese
men.
A total lie.
Racist Lie 3: The Chinese Oaf, Or Chinese Men Do Few Domestic
Chores.
A total lie.
What I have seen in Hunan, Guangxi, Guangdong:
- men helping to bring food to the table, and clear the table as well,
even in affluent homes
- men helping with laundry, sweeping the floors, and other small household
chores
- men carrying small children frequently and doing all sort of child care
activities, with patience and warmth
- men of all ages and social classes actively involved in child care
- men especially being caring towards aged parents
Let us be fair to all people around the world. Men in all
countries may expect more than women, and whatever Chinese men lack in this area of domestic work, they compensate for by
the great attention and solicitude to older people, including parents, grandparents, and elderly citizens in general.
